


just what i needed

by Chibimun



Series: The Toadies/Offspring Power Hour [1]
Category: Super Mario & Related Fandoms, Super Paper Mario (Game)
Genre: M/M, Panic Attacks, Selfcest, Slow Burn, THE SELF INDULGENT SLOWBURN IS FINALLY HERE FOR THE WORLD TO SEE, and mr. l is the personification of punk dude with major anxiety Whoops!, and to be gay!, luigi has depression anxiety And Trauma!, mr. l is fucking dead but then hes not and he uses his life to make fuckign offspring jokes, written in honor of my wonderful and loving girlfriend
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2018-12-23 17:12:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11994291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chibimun/pseuds/Chibimun
Summary: Cause when you're standin' oh so nearI kinda lose my mind, yeah--Mr. L returns to the world of the living.Coincidentally, somebody with the same face is also trying to live again.





	1. come out and play

**Author's Note:**

> heyo!! its ya boi, back with that gay shit for the first time since my squalo and tiziano-based fic! and its my first time (since the ut crossover that i eradicated) in this parta th'archive so Uhhhhh.....  
> enjoy, i guess! -uo

The outskirts of Toad Town was where Luigi spent a lot of time, nowadays.

There was something peaceful about the high grasses and earthy terrain, mostly untouched by man (or Toad, or Koopa, or any other species). Something he could appreciate. He had been needing a lot of quiet time as of recently, so he had starting going there more. The peacefulness stopped his chest from feeling tight and panic rising in his lungs for no apparent reason, which was really, _really_ great.

Luigi yawned as he simply laid down in the grass, gradually dozing off to sleep.  


-  


A loud _CRACK_ echoed through the sky as his eyes shot open, breaths becoming forced wheezes and fingers twitching in and out of fists. He barely realized he was standing. The source, he had to find the _source._

He really didn't have to look that far.  


"Ah, maybe that smoldering grass patch with a person or something inside it in the distance," Luigi dragged a hand down his face, starting an slow-but-steady walk. "Great. Wonder what it is. Probably some sort of shaman here to tell me I'm _actually_ the hellspawn of... _Bonechill_ or whatever his name was. And that the world's going to...be stuck in eternal night or something or other unless me and my brother do something and I'm expected to completely ignore the first part. And there'll be _quirky villains_." He jazz-handed to nobody in particular, absolutely tired.  


When he was only a couple yards away, he broke into a jog. "Hey!!" He shouted at the man. _"That's a human person..."_ He muttered to himself, bewildered. Humans were rare and not at all often in this world. This one seemed a little sketchy, though. Luigi couldn't exactly place what was so off about him.

Finally, he was at the unconscious man's side. He was in a little crater, seemingly purple in color, though the few small flames that remained from him "burning in" were yellow, red, and orange. Luigi grabbed the man's shoulder and pushed it back and forth. "Hey, hello?" The man's face was turned away from him, mostly facing the ground. "Hello??" He pushed harder. There was nothing.

And then, there was movement. Luigi jumped back as the mystery figure yawned and stretched out, slowly standing up. His back still faced Luigi, who was absolutely silent in fear of this being a Very Bad Decision. _"Oiiiii,"_ He groaned. "I've got the biggest crick in my-neck!" He enunciated the last word by popping said neck. "Gahhh...Where's this?? I've never been here before, the least that lady coulda done is popped me outta there somewhere I _recognized!!"_

Luigi's head was spinning. First off, that voice was absolutely and very eerily familiar, second of all this man had an _incredibly_ similar stature to him (though maybe a smidge taller), and third...well, toe to tip, this man definitely reminded Luigi of himself.

"Fine, whatever, looks like I'll have to _explore_ these..." The man grunted, making various noises while he moved his hands and head around, seemingly studying his environment. _"Generic plains!!"_ He shrieked all of a sudden, raising his fists to the sky.

"E-Excuse me?" Luigi finally piped up, prompted by the yell, his voice a little crack-y. "Are you ...lost or something? Who _are_ you?"  


"Eh? Who am _I?_ Who the hell are-" The mystery man turned around, and then he _SCREAMED._  


And then, of course, it was only natural that Luigi screamed too.

_"WHO ARE YOU, AND WHY DO YOU HAVE MY FACE?!"_


	2. the kids aren't alright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Understandably, both greens are...very shocked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you havent noticed already, all the chapter titles are songs!  
> and also, heres where we get into the meat of the story, which is mr. l making shitty music jokes every 5 seconds  
> (oh yeah, and i refer to nastasia as a Dude in honor of my friend ray who i would die for so dont get confused)

Somewhere in between locations, Luigi must've passed out, because the next time his eyes opened he was being dragged slowly along a giant leaf back to Toad Town (though he hadn't gotten very far). His head was killing him.

He grumbled some nonsense syllables, but was interrupted by his look-alike. _"Sssssshhhhhhhhhut,"_ He muttered, wiping sweat from his brow. His sleeves were rolled up and he was sweating madly. It's what he got for wearing black and a...handkerchief?? Whatever that was, in the middle of the summer.

"Wh-What are you doing??" Luigi slowly got to his feet as his double accidentally yanked the leaf too hard, due to the absence of his weight.

"Oh, you're awake," He panted. "Okay, yah, I uh...I knocked you out? I had a fightin'-flightin' response, we both screamed, I kept yelling, I gave you a _bonp_ in the side of the head. Sorry, I guess. I didn't think I could actually do that."

"It's...cool, I guess," He rubbed his head, where he guessed the impact had been. "So, why were you heading back to Toad Town?"

"That's what that place is called? Alright, thanks for that info, I'll try to remember it."

"Can you answer my question?"

"Okay, _sheesh,"_ He dramatically leaned his head back. "That was the nearest populated place so I assumed you lived there. I was gonna drop you off and hopefully you'd wake up there and be like _"ouoouugh it was juuuuust a dreaaaaam"_ or something like that because buddy, I don't really wanna get in the middle of anything right now."

Luigi was silent.

"Look, I just came back from the _dead,_ I think. I would like some time to recuperate with existence. And _possibly,"_ He said possibly in a fake French accent, so it was more like _possiblie_ , "avenge myself," At the end, he struck a pose like it was nothing, a hand over his face, a hand distanced from his side, his legs spread apart, and a determined look in his eyes.

"Excuse me, what?" The man in green squinted.

The look-alike groaned. "What, did you miss _all_ that exposition?! I don't wanna have to do that again!! I was commanding your _attention_ , godda-"

"No, no, yeah, I get it but..." Luigi sighed as words failed them (they did a lot). "Look, can we just give a simple introduction instead of, uh, _that?"_

"Simple introduction?? _Simple_ introduction??" He seemed...confused. Luigi felt kinda bad. "Well, I've never tried that one before. Howsabout youse start us off?"

After he said "youse", Luigi no longer felt bad. "Okay then, I'm Luigi. I'm from the Mushroom Kingdom, I have a really cool older brother, and I help save the Princess sometimes. Some would call me a hero," He extended a hand. "Now you." _  
_

The look-alike slammed his hand against it and gripped it tight. "Name's Mr. L, I don't know where I'm from, I'm Count Bleck's best subordinate, and I...uh...I like robots and punk rock," He grinned. "Some would call me one of the best damn engineers you'll ever see."

Despite Mr. L's confident aura and the beating sun, Luigi's hand then felt cold.

It was like there was a shiver trapped in his body, his heart speeding up to try to accommodate, to try to heat, but there was nothing, His veins were running numb, his eyes couldn't focus anymore, he was just _shaking._ And he couldn't let go of that hand.

"Oh, oh shit," He heard Mr. L's voice, but it sounded distant. "Hey, can you, uh, can you take a deep breath in? Can you hear me? Can you breathe? Because you're hyperventilating, and that's bad news bears, buddy."

He forced himself to take a deep breath in, held it for a couple seconds, and shakily wheezed it out. He nodded to one of Mr. L's questions, but he wasn't sure which one, or what the question even was. "Whaya.....ghhhh...." He managed to wheeze out some words with a light breath, something he didn't really know, and then he felt lightheaded.

"Shut yer mouth, no talking, focus on...what did he say that word was..." Mr. L snapped with his free hand as he looked around. "Respiration!" He said with a final snap, pointing at Luigi's chest. "Focus on your breathing for now, don't waste time with talking. You don't wanna pass out. Can you sit down for me? _Gah, I don't sound near as professional as Nastasia..."_

Luigi felt like he was stretching somehow. The only thing anchoring him was his shaky grip on the other's gloved hand. His arms felt disconnected, than his neck slumped, and it wasn't long until he felt his knees start to give out.

He was lucky that instead of slamming dead into the ground, likely knocking out due to the impact to the back of his head, Mr. L was there to catch him and slowly lower him to the ground. He was shaking a little bit, but considering he was probably about the same strength as Luigi, it wasn't that surprising.

It was a few seconds until he felt the grass on his cheeks, and then he began to calm down. The sky was blue, his limbs were on, and for a couple of seconds he was acutely aware of his own flesh. Also, he had a headache.

He sat up, placing his arms around his own torso. "Well," He said, coughing. "...Sorry about that."

"Don't worry, don't worry, I have those all the time," With a grunt, Mr. L squatted down next to him. "If you don't mind me asking, what's your deal? You just crashed, dude. Like an overworked computer."

Luigi tapped a finger on his side, still shaking. "O-Oh, I, uh, most people don't really...talk about Count Bleck anymore? Bad. Bad experiences."

"What, did I miss something happening? What happened after I died, anyways? I need'ta know!" He laughed. "Looks like the Count won, though. This place looks like paradise."

He was silent.

"...Luigi, are you doing okay?" He must've been quoting something, because he chuckled a little bit at it. "Sorry, I don't even really like that song. Seriously, bro, what happened?"

"Well for starters, the plan didn't exactly work out. The Chaos Heart's been banished due to Count Bleck, a.k.a. Blumiere, and Tippi, a.k.a. Timpani, getting married in some kind of big love plot."

"Wait, the count got _married??"_ Mr. L was befuddled, and looked a teensy bit grossed out. "I mean, good for him, I guess, but the fact that they didn't wait until I was alive...I could've been the best man instead of...what, O'Chunks? Dimentio?"

"Oh, Dimentio is dead," This was arguably the best news.

"I am fucking _enthused,"_ Mr. L seemed to agree. "Thought I was looking forward to avenging myself," He posed again, the best he could while squatting. _"Augh,_ what a creepy bastard."

"In my opinion, that's the best part of this whole escapade," Luigi solemnly placed a hand over his heart. "The world doesn't need more clowns."

"You! I like you!" He pointed casually and laughed, a grin on his face. "And since you seem to know so much about my operation and mission, where's the Count? The other minions would be fine, too, but I need to see him. Have to report my return to existence, yannow?"

"...About that," He couldn't help but grimace.

"What?? Why're you so quiet about him, huh??" He straightened his back out. "Look, I don't care if you have a personal vendetta with him or somethin'. Dont give a shit cause I'm not gonna budge."

Luigi looked to his left, than his right, and then just down at the ground. "Well, he disappeared with Tippi-er, _Timpani_ after the marriage ceremony. When they got married, the Chaos Heart was about to destroy everything, so I guess true love...broke the Void, or something like that. I was really hazy when that happened."

"Oh. Okay," Mr. L looked lost, his nearly-a-sneer replaced with a blank face. "...He's gone, then? But he's still alive, right?"

"I mean, probably. W-We hope."

There was silence.

"Look," Mr. L finally jut sat down, his legs crossed and hands on his knees. "Howsabout you just tell me the story from the beginning? I guess I missed a lot when I kicked the bucket."

"I will, but y'know, I don't remember seeing you at all. I don't even think I've heard your name before," Luigi shrugged. In that moment, Mr. L's entire demeanor almost took a 180.

"Wait, you never saw _me??_ Nobody ever _talked_ about me?? How?!" He stuck his hands out in a confused gesture. "I was the Count's _best_ minion! Hell, I still am!! _This is an outrage!!"_ He slammed a hand into the ground, putting his other one into a fist over his heart as he stared to the right, into the middle distance.

Luigi could say nothing, but this sudden double's passion for theatrics was endearing. "Do you want the whole story or just certain parts?"

"Y'know what? Indulge me. I like hearin' you talk, just tell me the whole thing from your side, yah?"


	3. pretty vacant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luigi and Mr. L both learn some things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, its about 12:40 am here, which means im 40 minutes into my birthday right now!!  
> i hope yall are doin as uhhhhhhh SHINY as i am

For the first time, Luigi was able to tell the story near-fluidly.

Even in his sessions with his therapist (he no longer had a therapist, as Toads apparently weren't good at dealing with mental health issues) he had stuttered to to the point of it being unintelligible, or gone quiet, or even cried, but while relaying the tale to Mr. L, he managed to cycle through the events with on the slightest of mistakes. Of course, Mr. L asked questions.

"So, you and your brother just save people on the reg?"

"Of course. We're heroes."

"Whatever, man."

And then there was:

"Woah, you actually got caught by Nastasia?? Idea makes my skin crawl."

"I'd...rather not think about it. Plus, I can't remember anything afterwards."

"Yeesh. Keep goin'."

And after that:

"So, you only got into Castle Bleck after I was gone from the picture? How cheap is that?! What were they thinkin', "oh, these people look alike, you gotta keep em' separated or else they'll combust!" or somethin' like that?"

"Why are you so hung up on me not seeing you? Means we weren't ever, like, enemies."

"Yah, I guess so."

"Why do you say "yah" like that?"

"Crazy Taxi."

_"What?"_

"Nothing."

Even at the part where he'd usually be unable to speak, Luigi felt his lips move with purpose. Even when describing the _fire_ and the _teeth_ and his hazy recollection of the wedding...

He only realized how quiet Mr. L had gone when he heard a sniffing noise.

He looked up from where he had been fixed onto the ground, and sure enough...

"Are you...crying?" Luigi's voice grew soft.

 _"NO,"_ Mr. L wiped the snot from his face. _"I'm!"_ Another loud sniff, as his voice cracked. _"I'm the Green Thunder! I don't cry during stories!!"_

Luigi unconsciously raised his fist up to his mouth. "Hey, it's okay if you're shaken up about all this. I mean. I just had a panic attack a little bit ago, didn't I?" He chuckled, trying to make sure he was alright.

"Ya-Yeah, but, but like," The other man grunted and balled up his fists, an odd, confused expression on his face. "I should be happy for him, right? He got married to the...butterfly princess of his dreams, I guess."

Luigi couldn't come up with anything to say. The bravado was gone.

He didn't want to say anything about how similar their faces looked at that time.

It was quiet.

"Wait a second, I can't just dump my emotional problems onto some dude I just met!" Mr. L's face screwed up. _"That's just no good!! GAHHH!!!!"_ He slammed his fist on the ground and suddenly stood up.

"Woah, woah, are you-"

 _"BRING ME TO YOUR HOUSE!"_ His voice shook slightly, the tears threatening to fall as he boldy posed, pointing a finger directly at Luigi's nose. _"I REFUSE TO CRY UNTIL I HAVE A ROOF OVER MY HEAD AND A DOOR TO SLAM!!"_

And again, it was quiet.

"Al...right?"

Mr. L sniffed hard as he squeezed his eyes shut. _"I-Ice cold."_

"Oi, okay, here, let me. Help you?? I can't word things very well, but you look kinda...shaky," Luigi stood up, legs wobbling slightly, as he hooked an arm around Mr. L's back.

He was still frozen in the pose. Luigi sighed.

"Alright, let's get going, yeah? Something tells me you don't want to go into town like that, but there's an alternate route that goes a _-round,"_ He traced a circle in the air adamantly with his free hand. "Toad Town."

Mr. L nodded, letting out a shuddering sigh as his stance dropped. "You know what, Greenie? I'd like that."

Luigi sputtered, eyes wide. _"G-G-Greenie!?_ We just met, and you've already forgotten my name?"

The mechanic squinted at him. "What?? No, Luigi, dude, I remember your name! You're just very...green, yannow??"

Luigi stared at him for a few seconds, before busting into laughter.

"What?? What's so funny??" Mr. L scrunched his face up.

"No, no, it's nothing," He wiped a mirthful tear from his eye. "It's just that most people forget my name pretty quick."

"How?" The other man failed to see the humor. "I think you look pretty distinct. You've got a memorable face."

"We both have the same face, you dork, you sure you aren't just complimenting yourself?"

"No, no, seriously. Unless there's a _third_ person running around with this luscious 'stache style? I've only seen one face even _close_ to yours and mine."

"...Oh?" Luigi raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean by that?"

"Oh, uh, well y'see, when I worked under the...Count," He winced slightly, before shaking his head. "We had to fight the heroes, right? And this little red dude, Fatso McJumpsallthetime? Like you but...bigger face, yeah??"

And Luigi went back to laughing.

 _"What is it this time?!"_ Mr. L's face, for some reason, was red.

"That's," Luigi snorted. "That's my _brother_ , Mr. L, his name is Mario!" He wheezed out his brother's name.

"He's your _WHAT!!"_ Mr. L screamed, less of a question and more of a sheer exclamation of terror as he separated himself from Luigi.

He stopped laughing, but he still had a half-smile on his face and mirth in his voice. "Yeah, Mario, hero of the Mushroom Kin--sorry, you probably won't know much about the Mushroom Kingdom, but he's the hero of the Light Prognosticus, too."

"So..." Mr. L's hands twitched. "You, the first person I meet after being dead for... _awhile_...are the brother of my sworn enemy and rival."

The smile wiped off of Luigi's face. "I. Forgot the part where you and my brother probably don't like each other." Worry lined his face.

"Oh, I'm gonna _bash him up!"_ Mr. L grit his teeth. _"Finally!_ My chance to avenge my own," He coughed with the next word, as if trying to hide something, but Luigi heard something like "mmtl", _"Brother!"_

_"Did you just say..."metal brother?"" Luigi quirked a brow._

_"Well,"_ Mr. L said matter-of-factly, puffing his cheeks. "I didn't _make_ him for _you._ And I _especially_ didn't make him for you to be _rude_ to him _post-mortem."_

Luigi almost wanted to laugh, but he could tell he had struck a nerve. "I'm...sorry for your loss, then?"

"You don't have anything to apologize for, but I appreciate the sentiments nonetheless!" He wiped a tear from his eyes. Luigi gawked. Had that seriously made him shed a tear or was he just _that_ dedicated to his attitude at? "Who _really_ has to apologize is your brother!" He jabbed his finger halfway into the air, shutting his eyes. _  
_

There was a pause as Mr. L crumpled and looked back to Luigi.

"Do you two...happen t'share a house?"

"Yes, actually."

_"GAAAAAAH!!!!"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i reached the end of my chapter buffer so.......i hope yall like this so far! and i hope you can look forward to me writing more!


	4. time may bend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mr. L and Luigi arrive at "The House of Mario".  
> Hey, if you've heard that phrase before, you must really know your stuff!  
> But before all that, it's a pretty long walk...and after that, there's a pretty long chain of awkward moments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im baaa-aaack!

As they started the walk back home, Luigi began to notice... _stranger_ things about Mr. L than he had in the past few minutes. One particular thing is they had the habit of trying to start a conversation at the same time.

"Hey, do you-"

"Yo, did you kn-oh, shit, sorry."

And they'd keep walking.

"Man, my feet _hur-"_

"We've sure been walk-oh, shoot. Go on."

"Nah, I forgot what I was gonna say."

The time where things started to get to get fairly stranger is when Mr. L managed to actually start something. Conversation ranged from him rambling about blueprints to him attempting to discuss music.

"So, what's your style?" Mr. L suddenly piped up.

"Huh?" Luigi quirked a brow, unsure. "I mean, I'm fairly casual."

"N-No, sorry, I could've worded that better, I mean, like, who do you listen to? Music-wise, I mean."

"Uh, mostly just stuff on the radio. I have some old vinyl records."

"Really?? I've never owned anything physical. I had a small library back at the Castle, y'know, but I _really_ caught up on stuff in the Underwhere."

"You got to listen to music in the Underwhere?" Luigi was bewildered.

"Oh, yeah!" He snickered. "I, uh, wasn't there for any kind of "eternal punishment", apparently Jaydes just didn't know what to do with me. So I was just chillin'. Saturday chillin', but it was just, well, for a coupl'a years rather than just a Saturday."

"That's kinda weird. So she just let you hang out?"

"Yeah. I think she felt kinda bad for me," An odd look crossed his face. "I didn't want her too, though. Man, it's nice to be outta there, though. No diss to her, it's just...really humid, and stuff."

Luigi couldn't help but laugh.

"What's so funny?" Mr. L screwed his face up, like he tended to a lot.

"Nothing, it's just..." He smiled, wide and genuine. "You've got a nice way of carrying your words."

Luigi could've swore he saw a blush. "Yeah, w-well--" Mr. L sputtered, looking down and popping his knuckles. "Thanks!! Let's keep going, my feet are balls deep in hurt."

"Okay, I might take back what I said."

They kept plodding along, occasional discussions cropping up. Just casual stuff, really. Like they were old friends instead of extremely similar-looking people that just met.

"Hey, there it is!" Luigi pointed at a small cottage up on the horizon. It was yellow, and had "MARIO" in large wooden letters above the door.

"Sheesh," Mr. L crossed his arms. "What a _grandiose_ place."

"Don't be rude! We prefer the cozy life. I actually have a little flat of my own, too. Usually live there."

"You mean we could've gone somewhere else??" Mr. L seemed annoyed, but also a little bit of something else. Something Luigi couldn't identify. "Why are we _here_ then? I'd like a Hero in Red-less abode to rest my _somber flesh."_

"What, you'd rather walked over 5 miles? I'm here cause I need...hmm...words..." He paused, tapping his index fingers to his thumbs and looking around at the sky. "Ah, the words are "living assistance". I need that sometimes."

"...Ah," Mr. L nodded, calming down. "Psh, well, I guess I can understand that. I'd go anywhere as long as Brobot and my toolbox were waiting, though. Even if he was callin' from the Underwhere."

Luigi suppressed a laugh. "Brobot?"

"Gah!" He threw up his hands, before slamming them into his pockets. "Brobot was my metal brother! The one your brother killed! _Fratricide!!"_

"I don't think that's what fratricide means."

"Your fra' killed my fra', buddy," Mr. L curled his lip. _"Fratricide."_

Luigi stared at him. "You know Italian?"

"Meh," Mr. L shrugged. "Probably, maybe. I think. Maybe. Who knows?"

"I mean, I kind of half-assumed. You don't...hear your accent?"

"It's wrong to assume about people," Mr. L scoffed. "I don't speak more than one or two words in pasta."

"Mr. L, the only other humans in the Mushroom Kingdom are Italians, royalty, and E. Gadd. I think it's less of an assumption and more of an educated guess."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever!" The mechanic crossed his arms. "Let's get this over with...show me to the brother. Give me the appearance of the brother now, give the appearance of the brother to me. I'm ready for the appearance of the brother, I've waited long enough, yadda yadda."

"Hey, quick question? Why do you have to open your mouth and speak like that."

Mr. L shrugged. "Most of what I'm saying is a mix of anxious improv, poor self-control, poor self-filter, and a perfect sense of comedic timing. I really don't want to talk to your brother."

"Hey, come on!" Luigi nudged him, a small smile on his face. "He's nice! And he'll probably give you a place to sleep instead of a ratty hotel."

"Yes, I'll take the couch and he can sleep in the yard, so I do not risk infection."

Luigi ignored the comments, knocked on the door twice as a warning, and walked in. "Mario? I'm home! We have company today!"

A short, chubby man peeked around the walls of an open kitchen to greet his brother, eyes closed in a calm, greeting gesture. "Ciao Luigi! Glad to have you back!" He opened his eyes. "Now, who's your-"

The air went stale. The sound of a ladle dropping and a ceiling fan rattling began to dominate the house.

Mario's face was contorted into a shocked frown.

"Well," Mr. L sneered at him, arms crossed and lip curled higher in distaste than Luigi thought was possible. "I sure as hell wasn't looking forward to seeing you again, either."

"Luigi," Mario said hurriedly, without a hitch. "Where...did you find this man?"

"Oh, uh...apparently he was..." Luigi scratched the back of his neck, shoulders caving in. "I mean, I watched as he burned in from The Underwhere back into our mortal plane?"

"You watched as _what?!"_ The red man's hands were attached to the sides of his head as a worried expression overtook his features. "He was in The Underwhere?!"

"Yeah, but he's not bad, I promise!! He said Queen Jaydes didn't even know what to do with him."

"Yeah," Mr. L popped his neck. "Let me sit around and steam basically. Steam about my _revenge_ on you and Dimentio, that is."

"Dimentio is-"

"I'm aware! He's dead, it's amazing news actually, I'm _extremely_ glad."

There was another silence. Mario slowly picked up the ladle and began to wash it off in the sink, substituting it for another one and using it to stir a medium-sized pot.

"Please," He spoke up. "Have a seat on the couch. Dinner will be ready soon. We can talk about everything then." His voice sounded hollow.

Reluctantly, the pair followed his orders. They didn't really have any other option.

As Mr. L stared into the middle distance, Luigi stared at Mr. L. Though his face was one of defiance or ignorance, his body language was closed off. He sat at the end of the couch, pushing his body into the arm, resting his face on his palm and his unused arm in his lap. His feet were drawn together, as to take up less space.

Luigi didn't want to admit it, but he looked pretty cool.

"Oi, what're you starin' at, Green?" He rubbed his eye as Luigi jumped. "Did you really zone out lookin' _my way?"_ He snorted. "Gosh, I'm flattered." He hocked _something_ in his mouth, but didn't spit.

Silence.

More silence.

And then, eventually, there was the sound of clinking dishes.

"Dinner is ready, Luigi," Mario paused. "Mr. L."

They shared a look, then they both stood up at the same time, wobbly on their feet in the opposite ways, and just a little bit scared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :3c i wonder how things will go for our...well, not heroes, but main characters


	5. " nawatobi " (jump rope)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> spagheddy dinner goes slightly south

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> blame my girlfriend for the chapter title of this one, ehehe!  
> but yeah, im back! and rarin' to go. this chapter features identity crises, which you know. Seem To Happen.

The dinner table at the Mario household wasn't very fancy at all. Mr. L didn't know why he had expected something extravagant, despite not even knowing this place existed until a few minutes ago. It was just a round, wooden table with simple wood chairs.  
  
It felt...homely. More homely than the halls of Castle Bleck had, maybe.  
  
He forced himself to move as he pulled a chair out and sat down, slumping his back and spreading his legs apart to relax. Luigi gave him a look, and he didn't exactly know why.  
  
"What? My legs hurt from all that walking. I'm an _engineer,_ not an _adventurer_ like you two," He yawned. "Don't mean no _disrespect,"_ He punctuated that with a squinted glare in Mario's direction. The red man seemed nervous. Good.

Though he had always been good at hiding it, Mr. L was too.  
  
"Now, Luigi, I think it's about time I told you... _some things."_  
  
"Eh?" The green brother piped up. "Well, finally. Not to be rude, but I've been in a nigh constant spiral of moderate to extreme confusion all day."  
  
Mario chuckled, but something was off. "Y'see, Mr. L...I know him."  
  
"Yeah, you killed my brother. _Twice,"_ Mr. L jabbed a toothpick into the corner of his mouth and crossed his arms.  
  
"It's not about that," He said curtly. "It's about...well...you and Mr. L..."  
  
"Get _on_ with it, already!"  
  
"You're supposed to be the same person."  
  
Mario looked down as soon as he said it, clearly uncomfortable. Luigi stared at him, jaw slightly open. Mr. L slowly covered his face with his hand, toothpick peeking through a gap in his fingers. He bowed his head and placed his elbow on the table more gentle than anything he had done today.

The ceiling fan clicked away silently. _Click. Click. Click._  
  
_"Snrk."_  
  
The Mario Brothers were not prepared for their guest to burst out wheezing. It was a loud, peculiar laugh. It was like a mash up of a noise a real person would made and an old cartoon villain. His hand slammed on the table as his wheezes became full blown _loud_ guffaws. He held the pick gingerly in his fingers.

Mario looked dire. Luigi looked uncomfortable. Mr. L was doubling over, probably about to fall out of his chair.  
  
"Oh, that ones _rich!"_ Mr. L wiped a tear from his eye, big, boisterious laughs still going. "Y-You expect me to believe that just because we look alike, we're somehow _the same guy??_ Bravo on the jokes, red man!"  
  
He continued chuckling for awhile, before noticing the expressions of the other people at the table. "What?" He asked, slowly coming down, a joking tone still in his voice. "Isn't it funny, Green? He's just making a half-assed guess!" He popped the toothpick back in his mouth with a smug aura.

Mario slowly got up from the table, and walked into another room. When he came back, he had a handheld camera clutched in his hand. His face hadn't changed.  
  
Mr. L felt uncomfortable when Mario stood next to him. It felt wrong. It wasn't natural. He wanted to get it over with as soon as possible, he decided, as Mario flipped through the various saved videos until he found what he was looking for.  
  
And to Mr. L's dismay, he leaned closer.

When he pressed play, the mechanic saw that it was some kind of celebration. By the decorations, it could be a Halloween party. The tape was taken four years ago, and the cameraman was _clearly_ unskilled.  
  
"Hey, Luigi! Over here!" Ah, the cameraman was Mario. That explained it. Mr. L involuntarily sneered, but his harsh face dropped as Luigi turned towards the camera.  
  
His hair was slicked back and he had little fangs in his mouth, along with the traditional fancy vampire outfit. He couldn't lie that he had found it sorta cute.  
  
"Huh?" The recording Luigi scratched his neck. "What do you need, bro?"  
  
"Can you do a few lines for me? The Princess is making a video!"

Luigi on the recording snickered, a playful smirk on his face. "V, v, v, huh bro? Well, you asked for it."  
  
And then, the Luigi on the recording cleared his throat and laughed.  
  
And then, Mr. L's face changed drastically from interested to terrified, his toothpick hitting the table.  
  
That was _his_ laugh, and the nervous tics that interrupted were _his_ mannerisms.  
  
So were all the nervous tics, he realized. The way Luigi's hand shook or the way he scratched his neck. The way he carried his sentences, the delivery of his words, _his brother complex, his-_

"Heh...W-Wait a second..." He stared at Mario, hands shaking slighly. "This is a fake, right? T-T-That's not how I laugh, right?!"  
  
Luigi's face was pointed to the ground.  
  
Mario shut the screen on the camcorder. "I went easy on you for that. That's why you were able to call the Brobots out, after all."  
  
Mr. L sputtered. "B-But you...y-y-you had to...I d-don't..." His fingers twitched around before he grabbed the table. "But that means..." He stilled. "I'm not really a _"person"_ , am I?"

"You shouldn't worry about that. You're here," Luigi said quietly, a distant, sad look in his eyes. "You're as much as a person as we are."  
  
"No, I'm not!" Mr. L grit his teeth. "It's all coming together! Why we were never in the same place, why you pick up where I left off, w-why after...meeting _Nastasia..."_ He trailed off again, fear wracking his features. "No, no, _no, no, no!"_  
  
Mario placed a hand on his shoulder, and Mr. L was revolted at how calm it made him feel. Fear blossomed in his stomach, along with anger, and he swatted the hand away. "Don't. _Touch_ me, hero. Keep your, ke-keep your g-goddamn hands _away_ from me!"  
  
The man in red seemed hurt. Mr. L didn't care.  
  
Luigi stood up. Even the way they got to their feet was similar, but when Luigi walked over and grabbed his hand to lead him out of the house, he didn't reject it. He didn't really emote at all, as the door shut quietly behind them.

But one thing that was for sure: he didn't expect the first thing Luigi did to be hugging him.  
  
It was almost like a tackle. Luigi's arms wrapped around him suddenly in a soft but firm embrace, and Mr. L's jaw slightly dropped. His arms were frozen in midair.  
  
"I'm sorry," Luigi pressed his face inro the mechanic's shoulder. "I-I needed to get out of there, it seems like you did too. Apparently, we're...p-pretty similar, after all."  
  
Mr. L, without a response, simply wrapped his arms around the other man. He was silent.  
  
"You don't wanna talk, do you? S-Shame, I like your one-liners."  
  
"Of course I do," Mr. L sniffed. "I have a lot to say."  
  
"Then tell me something."  
  
"Something serious?"  
  
"Whatever you'd like."  
  
Mr. L took a deep breath in. "I'm guessing you're afraid of the same thing?"  
  
"I don't have to be. We're our own people, no matter what you're thinking."  
  
"I just think it's funny. Under the Count, I always felt like I had to...match up to something. I was afraid of being forgotten or left behind, y'know? Now, it's just ironic. Now, I really have something I can match up to, huh?" He chuckled, eyes and tone listless.  
  
"That _is_ funny," Luigi hugged tighter. "I guess we have the same fears in different ways."

"You have it better than I did, at least. A real brother, real family, hell, _a real life._ Everything's just slammin' into me now. It's really _ass."_ His voice cracked slightly.

"Don't just say that. Something tells me you never had a chance."  
  
"...Wait just a second," Mr. L sniffed, with a slight laughter in his voice. "L-Like I...never had a chance?"  
  
"What?" Luigi frowned, pulling back slightly to look Mr. L in the eyes.

" _"Man he never had a chance"?_ You," He sniffed "d-don't see the joke you could make there?"  
  
"Mr. L," Luigi put his hands on the other man's shoulders, a purely serious look on his face. "I have no idea what you're talking about whatsoever."  
  
The both of them shared a little laugh, before pulling back into another hug. Mr. L scoffed, trying to appear cool. _"Well-,"_ He cleared his throat. "I have to say thank you now, don't I?"

"Not if you don't want to," Luigi smiled, patting him on the back.  
  
Mr. L closed his eyes raised his chin up, which was a little bit difficult to do at the moment, but he was a man of flair and style. "That's good, then! Because I _want_ to thank you."  
  
"Well, uh, you're welcome, then."  
  
"No, no, you stop that!" Mr. L pulled away, placing his hands on Luigi's shoulders to mirror how they were just a second before. "I'm not just lettin' myself get away with a half-assed thank!"

Luigi was confused, before the other man took away one of his hands and brought it to his face. "How's this for something special?" He smirked at Luigi, as he gently removed his mask.

His face was much more pale than Luigi's, but held the same basic shade. His cheeks weren't as rosy, and looked more sunken in than anything. The rings under his eyes were more noticeable, especially due to the pale shade of his irises. He...seemed much less menacing without his mask.  
  
"As you might guess," The Green Thunder struck an animated sorta-pose. "I'm big for dramatic scenes. That's just my thing. Take this as an expression of my gratitude, eh? Something special, just for yo--hey wait, what're you doing?" His face twisted into a frown as he noticed Luigi's head in his hands.  
  
"A-Are you...crying?"

 _"Of course I'm crying!!_ Y-You're just...your face, okay? It might take...a little getting used to."  
  
"A-Ah..." Mr. L blushed. "Well, yeah, maybe it wasn't the best to spring it off so fast. _'Specially considerin' we both seem to have some identity issues to deal with..."_ He muttered the last part as he slipped his mask back on.

Luigi sniffled. "Gah, I'm sorry. I cry. It's...kind've what I do."  
  
It went quiet between them again, Luigi looking as if he was trying to find his words. It was about 30 seconds before he spoke up.  
  
"I. I want you to know, though, that, uh...I didn't just cry because of your face. I don't want to hurt your pride, or anything," He chuckled. "But...it was very sweet. It's probably one of the sweetest things anyone's done for me recently. And the sweetest thing someone I've just met's done for me ever, probably."  
  
"Well then, I guess that means you'll remember me. That's all I need." Mr. L smirked.  
  
"What a weird thing to say."  
  
"Well, we all have our complexes, eh? Whatever I do's gonna be remembered, I've decided that."  
  
Luigi gingerly held his hands in his, closing his eyes and smiling. "That makes the both of us, hm?" He opened his eyes. "Now, we should probably go back and finish dinner. Mario's probably worried sick-"  
  
Mr. L _groaned._ "I'm not sure if I can accept that you and that fuckin' ugly red're related, but okay! He clearly knows his foods."  
  
Luigi frowned at him. Mr. L got the hint. "Alright, alright. If it helps, I barely mean it. He seems..." He cringed. _"Okay."_  
  
And Luigi smiled, and Mr. L smiled back.  
  
And then they simply walked back inside like it had never happened.

And Mario was no longer at the table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nyipes! now th'gang's gotta find mario!  
> hint: hes probably just in another room or smth.  
> but!! to everyone readin this, old and new, thanks for coming back!! it was only through yall's support and me bein a big gay could this've happened. look forward to the next one!! im tryin to get more into gear, hehe.

**Author's Note:**

> short first chapter but! hey(, hey, hey start dash), the next one is about 3 times as long so!


End file.
